The Fairy Tale

IT'S UP TO ME

2007-05-19T20:20:00.000-06:00

Since no one else will blog I guess I will. I feel like there is so little to tell, but really so much to let out.

In my last post I said that you never know what will happen in month two, speaking of us turning southern. I think we may be even less southern than in month one! I find a constant need within myself to tell people where I'm from. I don't know why, most people do not know Utah for what I know it for. I know it for home. I realize that more now than ever and I really miss it. I do. More than I thought I would truthfully. I never used to understand when people came to Park City and talked of "home". I now find myself making such references.

There is a constant cliche playing in my world. The one that goes like this: "You never know what you have until it's gone." People who know us; a church home; clear purpose; complete familiarity; job security and comfort. I could go on, but you all know and many of you have lived it too. I miss everyone so much.

I am looking forward to days at the beach this summer. Our summer starts this week! School is out on Tuesday. It feels so early compared to what we've been used to. We impatiently anticipate summer visitors too. Y'all are going to love our tans! Just kidding, but I think we are more tan already than we used to get all summer. Hopefully you can all return home with refreshed color as well.

God speed to all. I have hope for someone else to post soon. I need interaction. Lots of love.

A MONTH IN THE SOUTH

2007-04-09T19:35:00.000-06:00

...and we are still Yankees! We have not turned Southern yet, but you never know what might happen next month.

The thing about big moves that most of us have learned now is that LIFE IS LIFE no matter where you are! I still get up every morning to my beautiful children who need to get ready for school. I still have to pay the utilities which means I still have to go to work. So, that means I still wait tables! My husband still loves me, I think. And I know that I still love him.

God is still there waiting for me to make time for Him everyday. Which I still don't always do and somehow thought I would.

My life is settled. Settled more now than it has been in years let's say. In this settling there is an unsettling. We have not established new goals to work toward and therefore sit stagnant. Owen and I do much better, as do most people I would assume, when we have a common goal to partner toward. We will find it soon, I hope.

ROLLER COASTERS

2007-01-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

I actually really like roller coasters. I find the adrenaline exciting and enjoy the closeness felt to the one beside you. There is just something about fear that seems to bring people together.

I do not, however, appreciate the roller coaster that references my recent emotions!

I was doing just fine waiting. I struggled a bit with patience, but overall I felt successful in the adventure. I felt that we were really learning how to trust and wait. Being given hope and excitement then having it ripped from you is so disheartening. I was much more content to wait and learn than to hope and be crushed.

The roller coaster post disappointment is much more severe than the roller coaster of wait-go-wait. I feel encouraged by scripture and God one moment, then paralyzed by disappointment the next. It is just really difficult to be on the "countdown" and then be catapulted back to the waiting room. I suppose it would be kind of like false labor. Thankfully I never had any, but can imagine the disappointment there.

I have heard and spoken most all of the cliches associated and for the most part I believe them, but I am still a very emotional person (in case any of you have forgotten) and I wanted to let a little of it out.

Thanks for listening...

TRANSITION

2006-12-02T14:27:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal...there has not really been much to report, hence the silence. We are so in need of your prayers right now. Owen and I are both in a new area of trust in the Lord. It is hard to wait not knowing what is going on. We know that He has everything in control, but we are faced with some big decisions and a potential high level of stress. Please pray that we will have clear direction in all that we do in the near future...

Owen will be in need of a new job within the next few days to two weeks. He has options, we just have to know which one he should go with. I will no longer have a job at bdc; it is not a lot of money, but probably about $500 a month so it is significant in our lives. I can most likely work as much as I want/need to at the restaurant, so that is good. We need to feel confident that the Lord wants us to keep our house at the price we have it at now. We are feeling some confusion.

I know you all get it. We are ready to move on to the next chapter in our lives, but obviously God has a lesson to teach us right now. Please pray that we get it soon and we can go!

My parents were here for Thanksgiving and we ate at Jason's. Jason cooked most of the food and it was excellent of course. We celebrated with Diane on Sunday night and that was also a lot of fun.

My mom is still in town, but will be leaving on Monday. With the weather the way it has been (extremely cold!) she has been reminded of why she left Utah and has no regrets! My dad will be leaving within the next two weeks to make his final move. He will be in PC about one week out of four to continue with some work involved with him "merging" his company. Jason and Kris are going to be leaving PC around the 15th to drive to Florida for Christmas. Jason will then fly back on the 28th to pack their moving truck and drive to Shreveport, LA. Kris will meet him there with Fisher after they have closed on their new house. Elle will fly in around the 7th of January. They have not yet sold their house, but are buying a new house anyway in order to keep their family together.

Pray for all of our houses to sell: Mom and Dad, Jason and Kris, Chad and Katy (spec house on the market since April) and Owen and Alyson. A little weird that we are all at the mercy of the market! Thank God for His mercy which outweighs all else!

Other than that things are the same. The kids are good. They are ready to move except the occasional waiver on Mazana's part. She does not want to leave all of her friends! But, they both say that it is too cold here and they want to go to Florida. Funny stuff, I say.

Owen and I will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary next Saturday. Wow, I can't believe it has been that long. (The further we go the younger I feel in relation to the years I have been married.) Each year I feel more strongly that we were meant to be together. I have no regrets about getting married so young. Owen has blossomed into such an amazing man. And I hope that I have grown up a bit myself!

God's blessings to all of you. I pray that we can all keep things in perspective this holiday season. Much love as always.

DAILY HUM DRUM

2006-11-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

Most things are still the same...
*Owen is still gone, but returns on Wednesday and I cannot wait! The kids miss him so much too and we have all about reached our limit.
*The house is still for sale. The last offer did not go anywhere after we countered. There is an open house today and at least one realtor coming with potential buyers. Daniel is doing a good job I think. I am ready for it to sale and being pushed to learn patience!
*My trip to Florida last weekend was nice, but way too quick for such a long distance to travel. We found a house that we really like and are praying about what God wants us to do.
*So that's about it, I just wanted to give you a quick update on what's happening-nothing yet! The funny thing is though, it can happen any day. No matter when it is it will be sudden, because I am no longer expecting anyone who looks at the house to actually buy it, but eventually someone will!
*I love you all so much and especially miss you in the midst of my loneliness. I hope you are all well.

LAUGHABLE

2006-10-24T10:04:00.000-06:00

We received our first offer. Although it is very laughable we are still happy to have some really good activity. They offered us $406,000 with a contingency for their house to sell and it is not even on the market until Monday! (Although the area they live in has an average of 23 days on the market.) They put down $500 earnest money which for PC is unacceptable-1% is the unspoken norm. Anyway, we countered at $428,000 and more earnest money and changed their dates a bit. They have until 6:00 tomorrow (Wed.) to respond.

We have been having a lot of showings-two just yesterday-so even if this offer doesn't work out we hope that it will create some urgency with other buyers.

Owen has now been gone for a week. With the stress of the new offer and signing and countering, etc. and Mazana's birthday today I am not fabulous. I am starting to feel a little alone in everything. But I must say that I have been handling him being gone much better than expected. Not being depressed and being so busy with school, etc. has made the experience much more livable. I am starting to see how "normal" people can deal with stressful situations. I used to look at people and think I would go crazy if I had to do "that". Thank God for His healing touch!

I hope everyone is good. I'll keep you posted. Lots of love.

TIRED

2006-10-12T13:45:00.000-06:00

Today I am just really tired. I feel worn out and a bit discouraged.

For one thing I have been sick for almost two weeks now. I have a very stubborn sinus infection which is giving me a terrible headache. I just want to go back to bed and be alone for awhile.

My kids are behaving fine, but I have to have them at the office with me today and I had hoped for Owen to take the day off to spend with them since he leaves on Tuesday. He is too busy.

I am in the "it's not fair" mode today and I know that is not a good place to be. It will get me nowhere good I know. I could use a fun girls' night out, but can't have it. With Owen leaving I feel like I should spend as much time with him as I can and then after he's gone I'll be stuck at home.

On a more fun note...we are having Mazana's birthday party on Sunday night (since Owen will be gone on her birthday). I am then going to let her invite a few friends from school over for cake and ice cream on her actual birthday. I love birthdays, as you all know, so I am excited about that.

Also, we lowered our price on our house yesterday. We felt like it was what God was leading us to do. We went from $454,900 to $429,900! Wow, big drop. The thing is that the market is so oversaturated it is hard to sell quickly. In the last seven days 60 houses have sold, which sounds great, but 110 have come on the market.

Jenell, I really wish we were still across the street from each other so we could hang out while our husbands are both gone. Boy, would that be nice.

So, that's it. I love you all.

HURRY UP AND WAIT

2006-10-04T10:43:00.000-06:00

So, not much news really...

The ladies retreat the weekend of September 22nd was awesome. I felt God speaking to me personally all weekend and I also received a prophesy which for the most part said that we are doing the right thing, so that was encouraging.

The house has been showing quite a bit, but no offers yet. We thought we had a "second showing" yesterday, but when we got home we couldn't tell if anyone had been there. Daniel has not gotten any info on that yet, so here we are still waiting. Ideally we would be able to get an offer and close around November 10th.

Owen will be going to Florida to do a job with Chad, Mark and Dad on October 17th and returning on November 8th. If we do not sell the house by then he will have to find a new job for the duration of our Utah stay. This will not be a problem, but more just a pain in the butt. On a side note, I will probably be going down to Florida the last weekend in October to see Owen and look aroun at houses, etc. So, if we have an offer on our house we could put an offer on a house there with a contingency about our house here and then be able to have a very smooth transition.

Bottom line: God is in control. We know it and are glad about it, but sometimes its hard to wait!

THE BIG LIST

2006-09-12T14:26:00.000-06:00

Our house is officially for sale now. We had a meeting with Dave Lawson and Daniel Goode on Wednesday and signed the papers. It was officially listed yesterday! It is really wierd to think about someone else living in my newly remodeled house and me moving 2000 miles away. I have a lot of emotions about it recently and suppose I will for many months now.

My family has been great about helping get things ready, but Alicia and Susie have been a big help to me also and it has been so nice. Susie made a comment about it being wierd to be helping to get things done for us to leave. I guess it would be, but it has really shown me how my in-laws really are family to me and I appreciate and love it. I know (and have known since the beginning) that I will miss them almost as much as Owen will. The feelings are so mixed up because at the same time I am so excited to be close to Chad and Katy and their kids and to be back with my mom. And I am also very stoked to be close to my Granny and uncles and aunt as well. Hopefully I can catch up with my cousins too.

Anyway, that's the jist of it for now. I hope y'all are good. I can't wait to kick my feet up in a few days when every last detail is completed on the house!

CHECK THIS OUT

2006-09-05T14:07:00.000-06:00

I can not believe the transformation. Just a few more little touch-up items and a lot of cleaning and we can put our feet up! Please pray for a buyer now. It took me a very long time to get all the pictures posted, so now I don't really have time to write, but we are super excited as you can imagine. Lots of love.

MISSING EACH OTHER

2006-09-02T23:39:00.000-06:00

Ok, so as I was saying in my comment on the last post, I really hate being apart. I was painting my cabinets the other day and of course I had on grubby clothes, no makeup, my hair pulled back, you can picture it and I thought "Wow, it sure would be nice if I had someone to go to lunch with after dropping Tristan at school." I wanted some company that required no effort and had no care about how I looked. I thought of people I could call, but it all seemed like too much effort. What to talk about, I'd have to change and put on some makeup, etc, etc. I miss effortless friendship. (Not that Jami and Marlene are not effortless. We just don't get a lot of chances to be together.) Anyway, honestly I miss the days of packing a lunch to walk to the park. Life was simple. And I guess that is what we are looking for in this move. Simplicity, ahh.

SAME OLD

2006-08-31T09:38:00.000-06:00

Same things over and over in my life these days. Nothing has changed except the extent of what we have achieved. Here's the list: The house is painted, the new shingles are on, the new house numbers are up, the bathrooms are remodeled, the kitchen has granite countertops (which are gorgeous), the kitchen cabinets are primed, the backyard is cleaned up! Now we just need to finish the kitchen cabinets and all of the "little things" which seem to take way too long; ie: switch overhead lights, paint base and case, install new bathroom towel bars, spread bark and on and on! Obviously, the house is not yet on the market, but will be soon (along with the other three currently listed on our street!).

We took the night off last night to watch Lost (we bought the 1st season on DVD) and eat junk food together. We just needed a night to chill with each other. I can't wait until we are finished and all we have to do is keep it clean. That sounds like a cake walk these days!

School is going great for us as well. Mazana loves first grade and is enjoying having a girl teacher who wears pink by the way. Tristan I believe is feeling very much a part of things now and thinks that Kindergarten is "great". He walks into the school by himself because that is what Mazana does. The first day I picked them up I went through the line and parked at the front to look into my rearview mirror and see my children running toward me holding hands. It really doesn't get any cuter than that!

I am still working at the restaurant and the office and feeling quite ready to be done with both.

So, that's the update, sorry there is nothing fun to talk about.

PROGRESS

2006-08-08T11:54:00.000-06:00

Things are getting going! Woo, hoo! Owen, with the help of my dad, Jason and Aaron, has finished priming the house and has sprayed the first coat on about 3/4. He has to do a second coat, roll the trim color and accent color and then he can move on to the roof, which he plans to start next weekend. If anyone wants to help that would be great. After the roof we have the kitchen remodel. (replace countertops, sink and cabinets) I have been working on the cabinets in our bathroom and they are coming along just fine. I am excited to see the completion for stress relief, but also for the beauty that awaits. It is so nice to have a husband who does such a good job.

We leave for Colorado for Owen's family reunion on the 17th of this month. My prayer would be to get the house on the market by then. ??? Please pray that this will be a reality. I know it is a long stretch for we have so much to do still, but I also know God can work miracles too.

My other prayer request is that God will give my dad wisdom about this job we are working on and how to phase out, etc. I think we need to get a date set to work toward instead of flying free. And once we do get our house on the market we need a buyer! (My dad still needs a buyer for his house too.) Wow, there are so many things for God to put into place for this to all happen. Continue to pray for us, please.

TOO MUCH

2006-07-27T16:03:00.000-06:00

Almost a month since I posted...a disgrace.

Life is hectic. Why must it be so hectic? Right now I really just want to kick back and forget about the world. I feel like it is all crashing down on me and me strength has faded. I can't push up anymore and I begin to suffocate under the weight of it. And so the call to God comes in. I call out and call out and call out and He answers, but something else always seems to come up.

Here's the deal. My husband was gone for sixteen days of July; first six and then ten. Ten being the most days we have been apart during our marriage. A shock I'm sure, but the truth anyhow.

During the first trip I injured my back to a point of not being able to get up off of the floor. This, of course, happened one hour into his trip. It was humiliating and incredibly painful. It has now been three weeks and one day and I hate to report that it still hurts. I have become quite fond of Lortab and have therefore put a limit on them!

Because of the time away, Owen has not done anything on the house in July. Our list remains the same in length. I am stressed beyond repair. We are going to have to get some help or there is no way we will finish in any sort of reasonable time frame.

Last week Jason's and Kris's good friends Ryan and Alisa, who I consider friends as well, lost their son 36 hours after he was born. I knew that he was born and that there were problems, but we were hoping and praying for a miracle. I got the call that they were going to take him off of life support while waiting at Alicia's to go down to help Susie during her labor. Talk about a strange and contradictory set of emotions. Thankfully Susie and Aaron had a healthy baby girl named Brecklyn. She's a beauty.

God has given me a burden to pray for Ryan and Alisa. It is an honor, but very difficult and draining. I went to his funeral on Tuesday which was really nice. Jason said a prayer at the graveside service which without doubt touched everyone deeply.

This kind of loss causes one to examine life anew. I am so incredibly thankful that my children are healthy, beautiful, smart and fully alive. And at the same time I remember my #1, little Tigger, and I miss him. I hope that Tigger and Tobin (Ryan and Alisa'a boy) find each other in Heaven and have lots of fun. It is good to know that they will not have to suffer the pain this world hands out.

On that note, I pray, Lord, please help me to endure whatever this world sets in front of me. And please help me to find joy in everything possible. Please use my stress and pain to strengthen and support me on my journey.

I love you all so much. This is another thing I have realized, we don't tell each other our true feelings often enough. So, Jason, Jenell, Jen, J., Marlene, Todd, Shawn, Jami, Lenny, Linda (and others who anonymously read my blog) I love you. I really do and you all mean something different and very important to me. My life would not be complete without you.

DRNATURA

2006-06-29T14:54:00.000-06:00

I just ordered a colon cleanse for myself and Owen! I was looking up chronic fatigue syndrome and came across this website for DrNatura's Colonix program. I got the program and the Flora Protect Probiotics to help replace the good bacteria. Some of the things I saw on that website were very disturbing and I am afraid to see what comes out of me. They have a 30-day money back guarantee, so I thought it was worth a try. One of the big things the people profess is "so much energy"! They also talk of cleared skin, improved asthma, weight loss, better sleep, improved breath...

I am just so sick of feeling poorly. I try to take care of myself, but really rarely feel great. Last night on the news they said mono is going around so I thought maybe I have mono. When researching chronic fatigue I have about 75+% of the symptoms for that too. So, the conclusion is that I am going to get to the bottom of these problems and instead of starting with the doctors, which is what I was about to do, I decided to start this cleanse. Please pray that it works...then I will be telling you all to do it too!

OLD NEWS

2006-06-27T15:44:00.000-06:00

Well, everyone already knows the news of the week and half of you participated! We really did have a great weekend. Thanks to Jami for having a birthday so that Jen would come in and we could all party! It was so nice and comfortable to be with good friends who we can be ourselves around. That is what I think I will miss most about moving. Thankfully I will have Katy and Chad as built in friends when I get to FLA. That's about it. I'm off to take the kids to swim lessons. Woo, hoo.

Oh, yeah, we prayed about it and we feel God telling us to wait until August to put the house on the market. And I got Tristan's class assignment for kindergarten: he will have Mrs. Alger, who is a new teacher and he will attend the afternoon session.

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

2006-06-13T15:20:00.000-06:00

There really has not been much to tell, so I haven't told! Things are going along just fine.

Mazana got out of school on Friday and I am already enjoying the freedom of summer. The kids are going to Alicia's on Tuesday and Thursday and are excited about that. We start swim lessons tonight. My dad reminded me that with Florida in our future they especially need to learn to swim well; so I guess we will be going to a lot of swim lessons this summer. $$$

We are still working on the house. So much to do, so little time. Please pray for endurance and motivation for Owen. He is doing so well, but I worry that he will get weary. It is really fun to see things coming together though. He does such an amazing job with everything I know it will be absolutely beautiful when he is finished.

My mom made it to Florida one week ago today. My dad arrived on Friday with her car and the moving truck came on Saturday. Dad said she already has it looking like they'd lived there for years. She is good at making a home, that's for sure. They really like the house, which is good since they had only seen pictures before. She said that she fells like she has come home; a dream come true.

It is fun to hear the excitement in her voice and helps me to get excited again. I have lost some of the excitement in the stress of getting ready and the emotion of leaving loved ones behind. But, I look forward to seeing what God has planned for us there. Wow!

It looks like Jason and Kris and kids will be moving to Shreveport, LA to take a job Jason has been interviewing for. It is not definite yet, but looks like he will get the job. They will hopefully stay there for a couple of years and then be able to transfer to Jacksonville, FL.

The bottom line: It seems the Doughertys (obviously including the converted to Boerbooms) will be evacuating Utah sometime in the near future. It is all very surreal.

PICTURES

2006-06-01T10:21:00.000-06:00

ok, i have now tried three times to publish more pictures, but for some unknown reason they are not coming up. i guess maybe i'll email them, although that takes forever. i have so many pictures i want to share.

THE RUN DOWN

2006-06-01T10:12:00.000-06:00

Kind of silly, but I don't really even know what to write about that has any worth. So, I guess I'll just tell you the gist of my life as I know it today, the 1st of June, 2006...

The trip to Mexico was very nice. It was hot and humid, but overall comfortable. We relaxed, explored, adventured and enjoyed. The food was marginal for the most part and we still seem to be fighting something in our tummies. It was very relaxing not to have any time frame. We made our own time schedule on did whatever we wanted to! The most exciting thing we did was the "Outdoor Adventure" which included a jeep like truck ride up the mountain, a mule ride, zip lines and repelling down the waterfalls. We had climbing gear on and were harnessed to the zip lines which run hundreds of feet above the ground. It is a very free felling to be flying through the sky like this. And the repelling down the waterfalls was gorgeous and fun. This adventure was very much up our alley and we loved it. That evening we did the "Rythyms of the Night" tour. This included a boat ride through the bay into the ocean out to a apart of the beach you can only reach by boat. Here we had a buffet dinner (the best food we had) at small tables set up overlooking the ocean and under a couple of palm trees. It was very romantic. After dinner we took a rest in a hammock together before heading up to the show. The show was a lot of dancing, which I enjoyed, and told a story of love. It had a bit of Native American flare. The rest of the trip was mostly spent relaxing and exploring the beaches around our resort. Overall a fabulous vacation.

Now I am in the midst of end of school year stuff. Mazana is out on the 9th and Tristan graduates on the 7th, which will be his last day at Creative Beginnings. Alicia is going to take the kids over the summer, which I am very happy about. I know they will have fun.

Things are coming along with our house, but I am still stressing about all that needs to be done in such a short time. (prep and paint the exterior of the house, reroof, clean up the back yard, finish remodeling the bathrooms, remodel the kitchen, replace the interior doors, paint base and case, the list goes on and on and Owen continually thinks of new things he'd like to do.) The bathroom is looking so nice. After it is complete I will post some pictures. It sure is nice to have a husband so talented in these things.

I am back to work at the restaurant tonight, so things won't slow down for me for awhile. I'll try to get some phone calls out soon. I want to talk to all of you.

Love to everyone.

HOME AGAIN

2006-05-30T14:44:00.000-06:00

OK, OK

2006-05-22T09:55:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow Owen and I leave for Puerto Vallarta to celebrate our 10th anniversary! (Yes, we are now at 10 1/2, but better late than never. We decided to wait until we could actually pay for the trip and we did! No part of it is on credit which just makes it that much more exciting.) I am now totally stoked. I have gotten almost everything done already which is amazing. Usually I wait until the last minute and then stress about getting things done. Owen went to the men's retreat last weekend and I was able to take care of most everything.

The kids are staying with Mike and Alicia and I have my mom and dad and Diane lined up to cart them to and from school. They are excited to have a "long sleepover" at their cousins, but they say they are going to miss us. I know that we will miss them, but I am anticipating having some good time alone with my man.

At this point I don't even know what to expect, but a really great time. We have not been on a plane together since the summer of '96! (I think.) Anyway, it's been a long time and we are greatly anticipating it.

I'll be back on the computer on the 30th, so I hope everything is great for all of you. Please pray that this trip is all that we need right now. Lots of love to everyone.

ZION

2006-05-03T11:11:00.000-06:00

Our trip to Zion National Park was a success! We had so much fun and enjoyed the wonder of God that surrounded us. I think that this is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. It was a really fun trip while being incredibly emotional at the same time. I experienced emotions that I did not expect. Being there and not knowing when we would be able to go back was weird. To think that we will not have these beautiful places at such easy access was a shock to us.

We still believe that God spoke to us (For anyone I have not talked to, we are going to be moving to Florida!) and we know that we are doing the right thing, but it has been a little scary lately. The reality is sinking in. At the same time I think that we are hearing little lies that are trying to creep in to make us second guess, but we aren't that dumb! We prayed last night and both felt better, then started working on the house. Our time line is so tight with getting all of the repairs and upgrades done that it is a bit stressful. We covet your prayers during this time.

Three weeks until we go the Mexico and we are getting excited for that too. It will be a nice break in the middle of the craze.

I hope you are all well...

KEEP TALKING

2006-04-18T10:40:00.000-06:00

The past week was interesting. I had a couple of days when old thoughts and feelings were creeping in on me. I was trying to deny it and go on, but finally had to fess up because I was getting grumpy with everyone and Owen was really wondering what was up.

After much prayer and talking it through I realized that since I had told everyone about what had happened in my life I had created an expectation on myself that I now had to "live up to my deliverance". What a stupid lie! So after identifying it I know how to defeat it. I have realized the truth that no one expects me to live up to it and no one is offended if I ask for prayer.

God has talked to me and told me that I have to continually bring it all to Him to deal with. Satan is not finished harassing me just because I have had breakthrough. He is probably going to try harder now that I know God has a plan for me. I have been struggling with asthma this week too and not to overspiritualize things, but I think it is an attack as well. I believe that he (Satan) will do whatever he can to get me down. He probably knows God has a big plan and I can promise you it will not be to his benefit!

I can assure you that I have a fight in me that nobody has seen for a very long time. I would love for everything to be easy and simple, but since that is not reality, I am stoked to get it on! I am ready to fight. It sure helps to have the security of believing that God has got my back! (He told me so!) And it is very nice to be hearing Him when He talks to me. So, Lord, keep talking.

P.S. My parents got the house, but I still do not know when they will be leaving as they do not yet know. I think they close May 18th. (?) Keep praying for direction for me and Owen. Please just pray for God's will and for us to hear clearly. We are hearing some things from God, but we are not totally sure. This is one of the biggest decisions we have faced in our marriage. The idea of moving is exciting while totally terrifying and most of all we want to be in God's will. Remember: He has a big plan for us and we want to be in the best place to carry it out!

I love you all and have been missing the Coker and Johnson families so much lately. Jenell and Jen, please tell your families "hey" for me and give the kids my love.

FLORIDA

2006-04-07T15:57:00.000-06:00

My parents are moving ahead with their plans to move to Florida. They are putting on offer in on a house today. Wow, how weird!

Read my previous post if you haven't yet. It is new too. It will give you a much better perspective on my feelings and "processings" about all of this.

Anyway, I have so much to think about and process right now. Like what will life be like without any of my family here? (Jason and Kris will probably be going soon too.) Will we end up moving? (It is more of a possibility in Owen's mind than ever before.) If not, what will Owen do for work if Dad decides to close the business? Or, if he doesn't close the business, can we handle running it ourselves? So much to think about.

I'd love your prayers as always. The best part though, is that through all of this unsurety in my world, I still have peace and joy. I could never have said that a week ago!

God Bless You All.

GOD'S TOUCH

2006-04-07T15:49:00.000-06:00

Owen and I made the trip to Colorado to visit Pastor Lee Eddy who has a unique ministry. He basically facilitates people in listening to God. We went there because my depression was spiking and anxiety was becoming a problem.

The story is too long and personal really to tell all the details here, but I will tell you that God touched my life intensely. He spoke to me about my worth and His plan for my life. Because of some unspoken lies which I had created due to some childhood situations, I felt like my life held no worth and therefore denied myself the possibility of being used by God. Without worth there can be no plan. I believe that God has freed me from depression and anxiety.

I have to sometimes go back to Him to ask Him to tell me the truth when old lies start to creep in, but I am hearing Him and believing Him! In particular, I was worried that this would not be lasting because last year at the ladies retreat I felt so good when I returned home. I had been given great prophecy (now remember, on this most recent trip I heard from God myself!) and I hoped I was better (now I believe it!), but with life as it is I fell back into despair. So, I asked Him straight up about this. He told me, "That was a glimpse, this is the real thing."

I have a hope and a future! I have peace in my heart.

The funny thing is, I am home and life is still life. My world is not suddenly perfect and without challenge, but I have peace. I know that God is going to use me to minister to other people lost in depression and despair. I am really excited about it!

IN CHRIST

2006-03-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

FROM EPHESIANS (NKJ, NCV, NLT):
IN CHRIST:

*I am holy and without blame before Him.
*I am holy and without fault in His eyes.
*I have redemption and forgiveness of sins.
*I am set free!
*I have freedom.
*I have an inheritance from God.
*I was chosen to be God's people.
*I have God's special mark.
*I am sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.
*I am God's own.
*I am alive!
*I am a new person.
*I am raised up and sitting in the heavenly places.
*I am saved.
*I am near to God.
*I have peace!
*I am a member of God's family.
*I am a member of the household of God.
*I am a dwelling place for God in the spirit.
*I am a partaker of His promise.
*I can come before God with freedom and without fear.
*I can come fearlessly into God's presence.
*I have a spiritual renewal of my thoughts and attitudes.
*I am renewed in the spirit of my mind.
*I am a new person, created in God's likeness- righteous, holy, and pure
*I am light.
*I have light.
*I am pure and without fault.
*I am holy and clean, without spot or wrinkle or any blemish.
*I am holy and without fault.
*I am a member of His body.

And you are too! Farrell Fisher encouraged me to do this study to combat the lies of the enemy about myself that I have been listening to. It is very enlightening and exciting. Now I just have to start believing the truths I have in Christ. Why is it so much easier to believe the lies?

Hillbilly Patrons

2006-03-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

These people are incredible. Incredibly lacking class that is...
This story is so long, but it will give you some insight into my daily life and hopefully you'll get a good laugh too.

First of all, they arrived ten minutes late to their 8:30 p.m. reservation and complain when they have to wait for the hostess to return from seeting another table.

When I first walk up to the table to great the family of five the mother and father are both on their cell phones and the teenage daughter is texting on hers. Generally I will walk away at this point and figure they can wait, but for some reason I was overly annoyed and decided to stay. They eventually got a couple of drink orders in and I left, with the mom still on her phone and the daughter still texting.

When I return the mom did not even give me time to tell the specials before she said, "We're ready to order, the kids are tired." OK, so I'm wondering why they're out to dinner at a quarter to nine. I decide to save my breath, they can go without specials. The mom orders for herself and the three daughters. The same dish for everyone a dish that she has somewhat created on her own. No big deal, she just changed the pastas around, but this required some discussion between us because we were not understanding each other. We got through it and I went on to the dad who asked how the trout is and I said that it is good. Then he asked about the "creamy house potatoes" which I explained are really just scalloped pots. He asked if they are frozen and I said no. Then he asked, "Are they gooder than the garlic mashed potatoes?" No joke the man said gooder and he was not kidding!

I took a break from writing this story and now I don't want to finish it is so long and I really am over it, so I am going to finish with the highlights because I don't want to waste this whole post.

*I brought the wine to the table and the dad wanted to open it himself. This does not really jive with our way of doing things.
*The dad asked for oil and vinegar to go with the bread. I brought it out and he asked if it was extra virgin and I replied that it was. He proceeded to taste it and tell me that it didn't taste like it. Oh, please!
*When I brought the food out the middle daughter complained that she did not want it and told her mom she didn't even ask her. At which point the mom ordered a plain kids' pasta and told me that usually when the customer orders something for a kid the kitchen should not garnish it with green stuff. Remember, she ordered an adult dish!
*After I put the food down I was cleaning up some of the mess from the bread and oil/vinegar. The table was a complete disaster. As I am cleaning it up and removing some of the dirty bread plates the dad bursts in that they are going to need bread with dinner. By this time I am really irritated, so I said I would bring him some more, but I wanted to clean up because "this is just a mess". He then lifts the olive oil up to me and asks if he can get a different one because "this really doesn't taste extra virgin". I told him that was all we had. By the way, it was extra virgin.
*So, I order one kids' pasta and then they send the youngest daughter to the wait station to order another. And then separately order sides of red sauce. While they wait for these things to be cooked they continue to send the little girl to the wait station to check the status of their order! A little patience, please. After I drop the new pastas I boxed up the other ones that they were not eating.
*I am totally annoyed and do not want to wait on them any more, but things seem to be going a bit smoother.
*The dinner is over and they ask for the check. This is where things start to get ugly again...I charged them for everything. I figured they ordered it, there was nothing wrong with it and they were taking the pasta their kids didn't want. (I was probably just angry, because if I had really liked them I think I would have asked to take something off.) I drop the check and look over to see the mom inspecting it and writing on it. Then the little girl appears at the wait station door again with check in hand. She hands it back and I see that her mom has crossed out the kids pastas. Can you imagine sending your little girl to battle over a check. Of course I didn't discuss it with her. I took it to my manager and we took it down to Ed, the owner, and he said to go ahead and take it off, but to take the to go box! So we edited the check and I head back to the table. I gave it to the dad who was still sitting down. The mom was standing by the table holding a kid. He looked at the check and said, "Now, that's gooder." I am not kidding, he said it again! So when I started to take the to go box away it all went bad. He said I should take those off the check then and I said I don't think so. Then the mom cuts in about how terrible it was, even though she ate all of hers. I told her it was because she had changed the dish. She said they went to Gramma's (she meant Grappa's) the night before and had the same thing and the kids ate all of it. So I asked if they garnished it and she looked confused so I reminded her of how she had complained about the garnish and she went off about how I should never tell a customer that they had complained. She then asked me how long I had been a waitress! Finally I kept my mouth shut and walked off. So after they left I got the check off of the table and the dad had crossed out two of the penne pastas and did the math in the margin to figure out how much to subtract. He then subtracted them, added two "sides of spaghetti", totaled it and added a $20.00 tip! I was surprised that he left me a tip after all of that, but the really crazy thing is that he made up his own check! I think that is against the law, except that with the tip he left enough to pay the bill in full.

I should have finished this when I started it because it is no longer funny to me.

OWEN SAVES THE DAY

2006-02-14T16:12:00.000-07:00

i have so much to tell everyone really, but only two minutes to do it...
yesterday owen saved my birthday. sunday night i sat and cried unconsolably to myself about how alone i anticipated feeling on my birthday the next day. with my mom away, chad and katy gone and having just left jenell and jen, i had a renewed sense of sadness. i expected to have nothing to do, but had resolved myself to enjoy it anyway. i planned to enjoy my kids and try to have a good day regardless of whatever it held, but was worried i would find it difficult.

here is how it really went: i woke up to happy birthdays all around. jen called at 8:00 am and i got to talk to her. after getting mazy to school and kissing owen goodbye tristan and i went to breakfast with my dad; which i really enjoy doing and don't do too often. then t and i did a little shopping and he behaved quite well excluding the asking for things. next to trailside to retrieve mazana and on to home for a yummy home cooked lunch. upon finishing my lunch i received a call from owen that if i wanted to he would take the afternoon off and take me skiing, so we dropped the kids off at alicia's and headed to the mountain. the skies were perfectly clear (ordered specifically for me on my birthday. thank you God for answering that prayer.) i had the best ski day i have had in years! owen said he had never seen me ski so well. after skiing for 2 1/2 hours (which is the perfect duration in my book) we headed home to shower and dress for dinner. we went to the purple sage on main street and had a great dinner, then went window shopping in redstone and topped it off by renting a movie to take home and relax in front of. we laughed together and talked and really listened. it turned out to be perfect.

thank you everyone for all of the phone calls, i really appreciated it.

the rest of my heart's feelings and news of my world will have to wait. i have to go to work!

happy valentines day! i love each of you individually.

SURVIVAL

2006-01-28T14:12:00.000-07:00

i made it! sundance is over for me and i have survived with only a little wear and tear. i did come down with strep in the middle and lost a day and half of work which cost us some money, but oh well. over all i think i did pretty well and am just glad that it is over and looking forward to relaxing next weekend with my BFFs.

it is funny how disconnected one can become when they work nonstop. i am so glad that i am not a workaholic. what a miserable life that would be. i enjoy my family and friends too much for that.

anyway, i look forward to reconnecting with all of you in the coming weeks now that i am part of the world again.

DRUGS

2006-01-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

i want you to all stop worrying. i'm sure you've probably been losing sleep, etc. and i am so sorry about that. just kidding, but i got my prescription for the meds i need and therefore the risk of my mental termination is gone. i have only been back on for a day and a half. team that with a good workout, a hot shower, a sunny day and the hope of recovery and i feel so much better already. i feel like i can breathe again. this is not to say that the next couple of weeks may not still be hard, but i feel like an addict who got her fix! at least my drugs are legal.

that's it for today. i love you all.

INSPIRATION

2006-01-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

I want to write to inspire and bring hope, but I don't feel anything right now. I apologize for the lack of anything interesting to say.

As I look down at my hands trying to think of something of worth to share I spot a ring on the middle finger of my right hand. It is a gold ring with a very small diamond in the upper right corner and an R inscribed on it which is barely legible any more. My daddy gave me this ring. The stone it holds was my grandma's engagement diamond! She gave this ring to him when he was 16 I think. As I looked at it I was pondering all the things this ring has seen. You know, like the saying "if walls could talk", I'd love to hear what my ring has to say.

I think it would be so cool if we could hop in a time machine and travel around to see our parents past and whatever other sorts of things might interest us. It could be very interesting!

I hope you are all finding fabulously interesting things in your every day lives. Please continue to pray for my endurance. I feel very tired.

Much intense love to all of you. XOXO

LIFE'S TOLL

2005-12-29T11:03:00.000-07:00

Funny how life seems to take such a toll on us, but without it we would cease to be.

I am in a state of push. A state of push, you ask? Well, it means I must push my way through each day even though all I really want to do is sleep! I feel so tired and worn out. Sickness runs through town having a huge party, while I begin to crash.

Everyone needs something from me. Whether in the office so we can get paid, or at home so that they can eat, or at the restaraunt, you know, people are thirsty! Don't get me wrong, I like what I do, I just want to kick back here and there and have someone wait on me. Phoenix/Mexico here I/we come! (A Mexican cruise in the Spring, I hope.)

I'm sorry for the rambling and sense of negativity. I'm just taking a moment to vent. Isn't that what this is for anyway, a way to get into one another's heads? Believe me, you don't want all the way in. It's scary in here. The real problem, I will admit, is that I ran out of refills on my meds and I haven't been able to get an appointment with the holiday and all, so I suddenly stopped taking them which is so bad, as you all probably already know. It has been a week without and I am beginning to feel a bit unstable. My poor husband. Please pray that I can get in soon (my appointment is Jan. 5th, but I am going to try to get in sooner).

I don't feel like I am making much sense, and I find it somewhat funny that I am about to post this, but I just spent all these minutes writing it that I don't want it to go to waste.

I love you all so much.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2005-12-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to say Merry Christmas! I am sad that I have not had time to post lately and have noticed that you are all having the same difficulty (maybe not as much as me). Life is going fast and things are crazy, but I am looking forward to the holiday this weekend. I hope that all of you have a fabulous time. I anticipate hearing from everyone soon. Much love as always.

MOTHER EARTH

2005-11-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

This weekend while I was reading with my kids the book we were reading had a picture of an eagle. Upon seeing the picture Mazana began to inform me that the Earth is our mother, eagles are our brothers and the grass, etc. is our sisters! As you can imagine this was not the conversation I had expected or hoped for. It seems that she learned this at Creative Beginnings which she attends three days per week after kindergarten.

I was very disturbed and tried to explain to my children that some people believe this, but that this is not what I believe. I challenged them, especially Mazana, to talk to God about it and ask Him what the truth is. She does not like it when I tell her to ask God because she says that she cannot hear Him. I continue to tell her to talk to Him and I will continue and I pray that one day she will believe as I do. She is so smart and inquisitive that I know she will be a great Bible scholar. I expect her to be very educated because I think she will question and research. She is so much like her daddy this way. They both possess such curiosity.

I plan to talk to Ann (Creative Beginning's owner and director) tonight about this bit of teaching that my daughter received. I hope that it is not to be a regular occurence or I think I will have to pull her out. I can't have them being fed a bunch a New Age baloney.

HOSPITALS

2005-11-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

A look into me during Thursday's hospital visit:

A look at life as it passes through one's mind in a search for answers and hope. There is a need inside each of us for resolution and packaging of details. Let's file it in a box to later investigate, possibly, or maybe just for organization in case we find a need to search the past. It is much simpler to handle when wrapped with a pretty bow.

18:21 Once again I sit at my mother's bedside while I listen to the machines pumping into her veins the substances the doctors think necessary. I watch as the nurses and doctors poke and prod and look for answers while they try to keep her somewhat comfortable. I listen to her moan in her sleep as her own body wrestles with itself. All the time I struggle to sort my feelings. Feelings of fear, of sadness, anger, hope and hopelessness. I don't know which way to turn sometimes. This place is much too familiar. I think the hospital should be an ocassional unfamiliar spot. I find it to be a regular destination in my life. I despise what it represents most often to me. The unknown, the call of death on one I love. And so I call out, "Death, be silent!" And I pray and hope my request is granted. No matter the burden that these situations bring with them, I can not fathom my life without my parents. What I really long for is health and complete life for them.

19:00 I ponder tears shed and remember fondly smiles spread. I revel in the sight of sunshine and wish it on all of "mine". I hope for bursts of laughter upon mountain tops and scoff at death's valley. I reminise of life and energy shared and find myself looking to repeat these memories. I cry at the hell life pours on, but plant my feet upon solid ground. I will walk with confidence and stay strong putting each foot purposefully in front of the other. Knowing there is someone to carry me if I need it I take comfort in the truth- I can not be overcome.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers through me newest hell. I love you all so much.

2005-11-10T13:48:00.000-07:00

FLEETING THOUGHTS

I have had several great things to write about in the past week, but every time I get ready to go I entirely forget what profound thing it was I had to say and so I say nothing. There are others who we know who this silence itself would be profound for them, but not really for me.

So, let's see...
My newest quest is to enjoy life how it is. This, you all must know, is very difficult for me. I have ideas about the way things should be and believe that if they are not meeting my expectations I have somehow been wronged. The true wrong here is this crazy belief of mine. And I now realize this and am trying to find good in each day and not assign it some absurd expectation. This has all come about in the midst of me, Owen and Tristan having bronchitis, Owen and I also having sinus infections and Owen working seven days a week 16-20 hour days. The point is that you come imagine the difficulty I have come across in implementing my new attitude. I have done amazingly well I must admit! There is light at the end of the tunnel as far as Owen's work schedule; I know that I will not cough forever, although at times I think I may; we will not always be broke (I claim this as truth); I am loved beyond comprehension.

This is the most beautiful thing of all. Love. How it endures every difficulty we encounter and is strengthened because of it. Wow! God is so AMAZING. I am eternally grateful that there is love. Can you imagine life without it. How boring and lonely and hopeless. I depend on it. From my Lord, my husband, my kids, my parents and all of you. Without it I would starve to death.

2005-11-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

SICKNESS CONSUMES ME

I hate being sick, but somehow seem to catch everything that ever goes around. I got someone's cold and slowly it found its way to settle in my chest. I am coughing and I feel like I can not breathe. As my dad would say, Other than that I feel great.

Owen is working 16+ hours every day trying to meet his upcoming deadline. I am just trying to live my life in the absence of him...raise the kids, clean the house, pay the bills, go to work, go to my other job, workout to relieve stress, and on and on. How do we do it? I mean there is so much that we all try to cram into one little life and somehow we continue.

And so I ask, is this what life is all about? The means to continue. This is why we live and breathe and do all that we do. To continue. Continuing has so many ways to be. To crawl across the pavement with bare knees, to walk along the dirt path which leads us through fields of wild flowers, to sleep then wake, to eat and run and live. We can all continue somehow, some way. Let's put on the knee pads and crawl until we find strength to walk, then skip, then dance through the fields with freedom, peace and joy!

I miss you all very much.

2005-10-25T12:30:00.000-06:00

My baby girl is six! Wow. How does time travel at such varying speeds? I can't figure out "where the time went", but I also can hardly remember life without her...

She was glowing yesterday. It was like the day was truly just for her; created soley on her behalf. I remember feeling that way as a child. The feeling of such intense excitement and having the world seem to actually revolve around me. You could see it in her eyes. The hope, the joy, the ease of being six. Now, this has never been my favorite age. Honestly I think that most six year olds have an incredible ability to be annoying! Not to say that Mazana does not possess this gift, but I can see really liking six. I can see such life in her. She has a lot of things worked out in her head, but has not experienced enough to ruin any of it yet. I love seeing her learn. She is sounding things out, she is adding with ease and contrary to Mazana at three, she is a social butterfly. She has tons of friends. It was so much fun watching her at her birthday party last night, playing with all her little girlfriends and one boyfriend. Tanner is his name and she calls him her boyfriend. He is so sweet and such a little gentleman. They hang out together all the time at school. He is the only boy from school she invited to the party and evidently, according to Tanner's dad, Tanner had the option to invite one person to Hollywood Connection for his birthday (December 9th) and he chose Mazana! We'll see if that decision sticks.

The past few weeks I have settled down and have been truly enjoying being a mom. Not to say that it is no longer difficult, obviously, but my kids are bringing me such joy. I just need to figure out how to get out of the house on time. This is where the yelling comes in to effect at our house. I have an extremely difficult time keeping it together when we're late which seems to be all of the time. So I must yell a lot too! I just want them to focus. How do you get them to focus? Get your shoes on, get your shoes on, GET YOUR SHOES ON! I probably need to spank them more because I have been repeating myself too much. Anyway, being a mom really is great, isn't it?

2005-10-20T14:37:00.000-06:00

These are from September. Just a little writing whenever I felt inspired. I have been carrying a small white notebook in my purse...

#1: The heartache of the world settles to a place of hope and need. And everyone goes searching for what they do not know to find a compromise of peace in which survival lives. A hope they have yet to understand, but suddenly walk with. There is a beauty that shines so brightly that no one can see. And so they must truly trust the leader who holds their hand. As they walk blindly to the home they have never known they get to know their own hearts and what they hold. At this point the choice is set before them to trust this leader and hope to find the mountain's peak or to end the journey, find no glory and live forever inside mediocrity.

#2: Tomorrow holds a dream bred by thought. Birthed by determination the dream envelopes reality and all is transformed. The world knows hope and learns to fight for this dream become reality. Without the fight all is lost and the dream becomes a nightmare we all must live.

I can't figure out how to title my posts. Someone please teach me.

2005-10-18T17:04:00.000-06:00

Today is overcast and a little rainy. The winter's start is looming ahead. I want to be excited for the change, but I'm not quite there yet. It's not the cold so much as the inconvenience of it all...scraping windows, preheating the car, bundling-up kids (and self), etc. You all know the drill. I must remind myself of the fabulous memories I get to make with my family in the midst of it...sledding, snowman(girl) making, skiing, snowshoeing, etc. Winter is fun, it just takes energy, but so does summer.

Life takes energy. That is what it boils down to. ENERGY. Available or not? I have always wanted to be one of those bubbly, energetic people who run around all the time and never seem to get tired. I bet they sleep really well at night, too. But, God made me who I am and I am learning how to use myself most effectively. The most effective way is for me to have a nap each and every day, just kidding! I rarely nap these days, which makes them that much more enjoyable when I do.

Enough about that. I went on a date Saturday! It was so much fun. An old-fashoined movie and dinner. We saw Flight Plan at a matinee and went to Wendy's for dinner. (A date on a budget!) It was so nice to spend some time with my man.

Tristan got a haircut! We're talking inches lost. It is up around his ears and all messy on top. Very cute! He looks about two years older than he did when we walked into the salon. I thought maybe it was time, but you never know, I might grow it long again.

This is funny- my kids got Power Ranger costumes at Kid to Kid. Mazana's is pink and Tristan's is blue. They look hilarious, but they love them and I only spent $9.00.

Life is ticking...may the sun shine through your clocks into your lives.

2005-10-14T12:02:00.000-06:00

My legs are so sore I can hardly walk, especially down the stairs. The funny part is that it feels strangely good. I guess because I know that I have done something beneficial for myself in order to get this way. Just think of working out with Jason and what that will involve. All I know is that I workout harder now than I ever have before and I see muscle, especially in my arms, that I have never seen before. I really like muscles!

On another note, this whole budget thing is very exciting. It is incredibly stressful at times, but the prospect of being out of debt is insanely enticing. So, the deal is that we are going to have to work our butts off for awhile. I am going to be working at the office for two and a half to three days per week and when winter comes probably four nights as well, right now I am only working two nights. I was trying to phase out of the whole restaraunt thing, but we decided it was not the wisest thing to do right now. Please pray for endurance for me. I feel very busy now and I know that the winter is going to be many times more hectic. I feel new hope for life and that hope is what makes me think that I can do this.

The world is spinning, twisting, swirling around and I stand in the center solid and unmoveable. My chin raised, my shoulders back, my heart steady, I can not be touched. Can you see it? Can you feel it? The power that races from outstretched arms. There is no waivering in hope.

The Fairy Tale Lives

2005-10-11T09:47:00.000-06:00

So you all know how I have been so disappointed by the lack of fairy tale in real life. It has created much sadness and depression in my heart. All that I thought the world to be had somehow been crushed by reality.

I had the most amazing experience this past weekend. I went to a women's retreat at Bear Lake with the Mountain Vineyard. Pam Wright was our guest speaker for the weekend. She is very gifted in the prophetic. She gave me a really great word from God.

But what I want to tell you about is something that another woman I met told me about. She was praying for me and said that she saw God (I think she said the King) taking my hand and leading me onto the dance floor. She said that he was taking me out to show me off as His bride. Afterwards we were talking about dance and the power and the warfare and I mentioned how I deal with depression. I talked about the fairy tale idea I had about life and how I had been hit really hard by reality. She started to tell me something else, but I got called away. So the next morning I went back to talk to her and thank her for the things she had told me the night before. This is where it gets really good, she said that I don't have to let go of the fairy tale, that in many ways it is part of who I am. She said that she believes that fairy tales are prophetic! There is a princess (us), the evil that comes against her (the world and Satan) and a prince (Jesus) who comes to rescue her and takes her to live happily ever after (in Heaven!). This was so exciting for me because I feel like it bridges the gap between the two people I feel I have been; the one who believes in the fairy tale and the one who feels betrayed by it. The problem was that I had forgotten about the dragons in the fairy tales...

So life goes on and I get my fairy tale.

P.S. Owen liked this analogy as well because it freed him form having to live up to the expectation of the prince in shining armor.